Canadian Content

Because Americans think geographically, our impression is that Canada is above us (which is to say, ‘north’). For Canadians, however, it appears different. Their impression is that they live under the U.S., which is to say situationally, which is to say, ‘squashed.’ The United States, for Canadians, is like the 400-pound passenger in the tiny airline seat next to you: he can’t stay in his own space even if he tries, but he never seems to be trying too hard. So Canadians are always trying to protect themselves and their space.

“Canadian Content’ rules are rules for the radio and TV, for example, which require Canadian TV channels to provide a certain amount of Canadian programming during high-viewing hours and require radio stations to play a certain percentage of Canadian music. It seems to involve a kind of point system for music, whereby playing a Joni Mitchell song provides three points because she is a Canadian singer, a Canadian writer, and a Canadian accompanist (she accompanies herself). The CRTC, which defines and monitors the standards also provides some funding for Canadian programming. As a result, if you are an American listening to Canadian radio, e.g., you are likely to hear many performers you would not otherwise hear because they can’t make it through the media blitzkrieg in the U.S. As a concept, I suppose its related to providing support for local dairy farmers or charging tariffs on foreign goods. The idea is that the Canadians artists and entertainers will need some help in getting a hearing in the face of the giant American megaphone, but even more the idea is that Canadians will need some help if they are going to be able to keep track of who they are: Canadians, not Americans.

This pervasive cultural concern with who they are is immediately apparent if you spend a little time up here. Peter Gzoski once sponsored a radio contest whose purpose was to generate a phrase that was the Canadian equivalent of “As American as Apple Pie.” The winner? “As Canadian as possible under the circumstances.” And the circumstances are not good. The gold mountain is always there, tempting Canadians. The Americans have long brain-drained Canada’s medical professionals. The theory behind giving them easier access to U.S. green cards appears to be “you pay to train them and then we’ll take them off your hands.” Canadian artists and entertainers are eager to find American audiences just because the audience is so much larger. Success in the U.S. is bigger, if not better. There’s a lot of drifting down and then often drifting back, but how do you maintain Canadian-ness in the face of all this? It’s just not the kind of question that Americans have ever had to ask of themselves.

One way is the ‘Canadian Content’ regulations. Another is the constant conversation about what constitutes ‘Canadian-ness’ as opposed to what constitutes American-ness. The Canadians think of themselves as more tolerant, less-inclined to get hysterical about events, more law abiding, more knowledgeable, more humble: often, it seems to me, more British…stiff upper lip and all that. Less cowboy-like.

A very successful Canadian political-satirical TV program called ‘This Hour has 22 Minutes’ was particularly resourceful in its efforts to show what constitutes American-ness. And by contrast, what isn’t Canadian. One of the show’s stars, Rick Mercer, took a crew down to the U.S. and interviewed hundreds of Americans, asking them some of the dumbest questions I’ve ever heard: What did they think about Canada getting a new national igloo? Moose were getting aggressive in Vancouver: did they think they should be pummeled with ‘timbits’ (which are a kind of Canadian doughnut)? (‘Oh, no, I don’t think they ought to do that,’ said a number of deeply concerned interviewees, totally unaware that there are no moose in Vancouver and that a tinbit wasn't a weapon.) What was their view of Canada harboring its navy in New England given that Canada had no ocean access? No end to stupid questions, and no end to Americans giving very serious, thoughtful answers. I have rarely heard so many pointless opinions. It’s possible that hardly anyone they interviewed gave this kind of response. Obviously, they were going to show, in their 1-hour program, only those who responded like boobs. But those boobs included professors and students at Harvard, Boston U, U.C. Berkeley, and Columbia, as well as the Governors of Iowa (Tom Vilsack) and Arkansas Mike Huckabee), who were happy to give stupid answers to stupid questions on film for posterity, obviously flattered at being asked to opine on these questions. (Indeed, Huckabee’s inanity was widely seen this past year on You Tube.) Even George Bush (this during the 2000 primary election in Michigan) sent his thanks to Canada’s Prime Minister Poutine for, supposedly, endorsing him for President. Poutine, of course, is a Quebec specialty: french fries with gravy and cheese curds.

Canadians loved this show. I loved this show. I think Americans ought to be required to watch it once a week for a year, followed by a lengthy, national discussion of exactly what it means to be ‘an American’ and how happy they are about that given that one aspect of Americanness appears to be the willingness to have an opinion about absolutely everything, even things about which they know absolutely nothing. Clearly, to be a Canadian is to have a fierce sense of humor. Probably not the same for Americans.