Good Manners

This past week, we have crossed the border in the not-Nexus lane a number of times because of having children and grandchildren visiting who don’t have Nexus cards. What that means in practice is that you have to go through the lanes with lines. We have them fly into Vancouver rather than Seattle because that eliminates having to go through the extremely long lines at the main border crossing. (It is in this that I most experience knowing how the actual rich live: when you pay more just to avoid some inconvenience that irritates you but isn’t of any real importance. Specifically, a plane fare to Vancouver is maybe $100 more than to Seattle, and I’m willing to pay the $100 extra (or, apparently, have others pay it) to avoid having to sit in that long border lane. I don’t find this particularly admirable in me, but at least I am aware of what I am doing, which is the only consolation I get out of it other than, of course, not having to sit in that long line.)

In any case, we have gotten to spend more time in the border lines than usual and, happily, the border agents in each of these interchanges have been notably pleasant and non-intrusive. They have asked reasonable questions and have said things like, ‘thanks,’ and ‘have a good day.’ It is amazing what a difference that kind of thing makes to the person who lacks power in the exchange. I'm not thinking about inviting them home to dinner, but I'm also not thinking that they are planning to cause me harm.

It does seem to me that the government ought to figure out where citizens have the most contact with the government and then make absolutely sure that, at those frequent contact points, good feelings, civility, manners—all that kind of stuff—are emphasized. Even when the interchange is not what one might want or have expected, it need not be done punitively. That probably isn’t going to be a useful plan in the prison system, say, but at the border, at the Department of Motor Vehicles, at the Post Office: civility is critical. They like to call it professionalism, but my grandmother would say good manners.