Belt Sanders Rule

Yesterday was the International Belt Sander Drag Race, last held in Point Roberts maybe 8 years ago. Belt Sander Drag Racing was invented or created or brought to life here in Point Roberts, by Lorne Neilson who owns Neilson’s Hardware. The point is for belt sanders of any make or model, decorated or not, improved upon or out-of-the-box, to race each other in pairs down parallel tracks about 30 feet long. And eventually, the fastest belt sander wins something. But it’s really about the race more than the winning.

Sunday dawned clear and warm and by the time we got to the parking lot at the hardware store, the bleachers were almost full. A very nice gentleman offered me his bent knee to stand on so I could climb up to the higher seats from the side, and thereby get a better view of the races. (It felt a little like Elizabethan England: if it had been raining, would he have thrown his cloak down for me to walk on? In any case, my virtual thanks to him for his kindness and his willingness to risk injury to himself to allow me to have an improved view.)

Ed was designated the photographer of the day because he’s better at shooting than I am, and this was likely to be more difficult because the sanders were moving. So thanks to him, too, for the pictures.

This is the only event in Point Roberts that we have ever had to think about where would we park. Parking is never a problem here and it wasn’t a problem today, either, but we did have to drive around the block to get a place that wasn’t already parked in when you approached the store directly. Inside the ‘arena’ (which is to say the parking lot), there were maybe 250-300 people already eagerly cheering on the sanders. Also, the Fire Department was selling hot dogs.

By the end of the first set of races, a beautifully costumed belt sander named ‘Yellow Submarine” simply wiped out ‘The Grit Reaper’ and “Wall-E’ and a really funny cat with a mouse bouncing in front of its nose to win first place. Second went, surprisingly to ‘Rule Brittania,’ a very conservatively costumed sander with inflated balloons of red/white/blue, though the blue balloon was not inflated. Now, in my science education (which wasn’t actually all that good), I was more or less taught that if you put inflated balloons on a belt sander and then tried to race it against other belt sanders without inflated balloons, you would lose. And you would lose because the balloons would provide a drag/resistance on your race to the finish line. Although, my science teacher never actually mentioned belt sanders, but nevertheless. So maybe I learned the wrong science, or maybe science has changed, or maybe ‘Rule Brittania’ would have soared into first place at an amazing speed if only it had dropped the balloons.

This is the silliest racing competition I have ever seen. It gladdens my heart to see people taking competition a little less seriously than is the custom. But why don’t they also have a category for costumed sanders that don't race, but just stand and look very, very beautiful? Or maybe sand something delicately, while still looking very, very beautiful? Maybe next year.