A Brief Word on Nexus

Wednesday past, we dropped in on Nexus on our way to Bellingham in order to see if we could get a walk-in appointment.  It didn't matter because, once you've been approved and have made an appointment (even if it is four months from now), your old card has shelf-life that lasts until the actual appointment.  But we thought it would be nice to get it over with.

So we rolled in about an hour before we actually had to be in B'ham for a doctor appointment.  A nice enough guy took all our papers and told us he had no idea how long the wait would be.  Forty minutes later we asked for our papers back and went on down to the hospital.  On our way out, another nice guy told us that 3:30 is the best time to show up for a walk-in.  This is because most appointments (scheduled for 15 minutes) take less than 15 minutes, and most appointees come in early, so they are ahead of themselves by 3:30.

Thus, around 4 pm, we returned to the Nexus office on our way back to the Point, turned over our papers again, and waited about a half hour.  Then with our passports, driver's licenses, and approval letter in hand, the agent--a talky guy--took our photos and our finger prints, gave us a stern lecture about how, if we ever violated a single rule in even the slightest manner, he and his colleagues would take our Nexus cards away forever.  And enforcement is strict and absolute.  And there is no purgatory where your sins can be worked off.  Etc.  Among the rules he particularly impressed upon us were (1) having anything that belongs to anyone else in the car when we are using the Nexus lane.  "That means, Ed, if you cross alone and Judy's jacket is in the car, YOU will LOSE your NEXUS."  Ed inquired as to what about things that belong to both of us.  "According to Nexus rules, NOTHING belongs to both of you; it either belongs to one of you or to the other."

Ed inquired about the jumper cables.  "Those belong to the car," sayeth the Agent.  I forgot to inquire about laundry; e.g, if you (or I) were on the way to the laundromat in Tsawwassen.  The laundry is my job, so I think it's MY laundry.  On the other hand, if it's my job, i can't take it in the Nexus lane because it is commercial property.  On the other hand, I don't get paid for doing the laundry, so is it really commercial?  Just as well not to discuss it, I suspect.  It only makes them look confused or wishy-washy, and particularly washy.

In addition, we were never, ever, not even occasionally, or once, let someone without a Nexus walk through the border while we with our Nexuses drove through the border.  Even if there was nothing in the car belonging to that walking person.  Never.  Will. Your. Nexus. Card. Be. Yours. Again.  There was no explanation for this rule.  Only consequences.

So we walked out with the information ringing in our ears that our new cards would arrive in 8-10 days in mail that looked like junk mail so be sure to open everything that arrives.  What could you say to that?

Also, there are two new signs in the waiting area.  The first?  DO NOT MOVE THE CHAIRS.  The second?  DO NOT TOUCH THE TV CONTROLS.  Got the message?