Dressing Up

In 1967, Canadian children first saw what became a long-lasting childrens’ TV program, beloved by people now in their late 40’s, called ‘Mr. Dressup.’ Since I was not a Canadian child, I never saw it, but I always imagined it as being a program in which the main character dressed up in costumes. In fact, he did don an apparently endless array of costumes which were housed in something called ‘the tickle trunk.’ Except for the costumes, Mr. Dressup seems to have had a lot in common with Fred Rogers of ‘Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.’ Fred Rodgers, of course, was not into wearing any costumes other than his Mr. Rogers costume. In any case, they were both apparently quiet, gentle men who urged children to be considerate and joyful in the world. Good advice.

I was thinking about Mr. Dressup and Mr. Rogers today because I spent a lot of time thinking about Michelle Obama’s dress from Election Night in Chicago. Well, not so much thinking about the dress itself, but about why the New York Times felt the need to publish an article evaluating it, why half the readers of the web-based version of the Times felt a need to have their own views about this vital issue preserved for the public record in the ‘comments’ section of the article, and about why the other half of the readership appears to have felt a need to forward the article to their nearest and dearest email list, said article now appearing in the ‘most forwarded articles.’

I understand why everybody, or at least every woman in the country, is so quick to have an opinion as to whether they do or don’t like this dress or any dress. We are brought up, tiresomely, to be deeply concerned about our clothes’ attractiveness and, by extension, our own attractiveness as the inhabitant of said clothes. But why does there have to be all this discussion? Why do we treat it as if it were a moral question that, with sufficient serious thought and broad discussion could be finally resolved. Was the dress good? Or bad? Was the dress good for Ms. Obama? Or bad for Ms. Obama? Was she too attractive? Not attractive enough? Did she ‘exhibit a rare lapse in taste,’ as the Times charged?

Since Ms. Obama was not trying to attract me or any of the respondents to the article, why do we care what she was wearing as long as it covered her adequately in a public setting and did not seem to be drawn from Mr. Dressup’s Tickle Trunk or the local Halloween store’s costume rack? Did we like Mr. Obama’s suit? Did we like Mr. Biden’s suit? Do we have much of any idea what their suits even looked like? No, we don’t. Why is that?

This election, they tell me, is transformational. I wish it would transform the press’ and the public’s snarky little habit of offering running critiques of women’s choice of clothes, especially women who really never asked to be in the public eye, or at least not as fashionistas. It seems to me that Michelle Obama is doing enough for us by agreeing to be the First Lady. It’s an honor and all that, but I can’t imagine that this is what she was looking for as the epitome of her existence. We could offer her the favor of letting her wear whatever she wants, without having to hear our disparaging comments. Mr. Rogers and Mr. Dressup would advise thusly: ‘If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.’ That's what we used to call good manners.